3 Actionable Ways to Build a Positive Student Teacher Relationship

Let’s be real: a positive student teacher relationship isn’t just some fluffy, feel-good idea cooked up in a teacher prep textbook. It’s the secret sauce of effective teaching. When students feel seen, known, and genuinely connected to their teachers, everything else—student engagement, academic achievement, classroom behavior—starts to fall into place.

So if you're tired of the “How was your weekend?” small talk and want to actually build strong relationships that matter, you’re in the right place. In this post, you’ll find three zero-fluff, research-backed, totally doable ways to cultivate a positive student teacher relationship that lasts beyond the first week of school.

What Is a Positive Student Teacher Relationship?

And what does it look and feel like in the classroom?

A positive student teacher relationship is one where mutual respect, trust, and emotional safety set the tone for everything else. It’s not about being a student’s best friend, and it’s definitely not about bribing them with Jolly Ranchers.

At its core, it’s about authentic connection: teachers genuinely knowing their students—and students knowing that their teacher sees and values them not just as learners, but as full humans.

In practice, it looks like:

• Students laughing (imagine that!), asking questions, and feeling safe to make mistakes.

• Teachers knowing more than just test scores—but also personalities, goals, and even pet peeves.

• A classroom where positive relationships are the norm, not the exception.

And honestly, you don’t need a PhD in psych to make this happen. You just need a plan, some intentionality, and a willingness to show up for your students.

→ Want actionable classroom culture tools? Check out "From Chaos to Calm" for systems that support emotional safety from day one.

Why Are Positive Student Teacher Relationships Important?

Because the data says so—and more importantly, so does your lived experience.

A strong student teacher relationship is tied to better academic performance, higher student motivation, and a more positive school climate. We're talking real outcomes: increased student engagement, stronger emotional learning, and a more inclusive learning environment.

According to educational research, when student teacher relationships are positive and consistent, students show higher rates of participation, lower rates of behavioral issues, and even long-term improvements in academic performance.

→ See how emotional learning impacts student outcomes in "Building Emotional Intelligence in the Classroom".

How To Build Positive Student Teacher Relationships

Now here’s the part where I offer you the 3 actionable ways teachers can build positive relationships with their students.

1. Try a Relationship-Building Activity: “Two Truths and a Wish”

Let’s kick things off with a classic: Two Truths and a Wish. Yes, it’s simple. No, it’s not just for icebreakers. This activity helps you build connection quickly while setting the tone for emotional safety and vulnerability in your classroom.

Here’s how it works:

• Each student shares two true statements about themselves and one wish (a hope or aspiration).

• Set clear norms: respectful listening, optional passing, and follow-up questions that show genuine interest.

• Reflect as a class: What did we learn about each other? Why does it matter that we know?

This activity doesn’t just help students build peer relationships—it shows that you as the teacher are invested in who they are beyond their assignments and grades.

2. Know the Signs: Student Relationship Look-Fors

Building relationships isn’t a one-and-done event—it’s a living, breathing part of your classroom culture. That’s where Student Relationship Look-Fors come in.

These are behaviors and cues that help you assess the health of your student relationships and act as a litmus test for your classroom climate.

A few strong indicators include:

• Students and teachers regularly engage in respectful conversations that feel warm, supportive, and genuinely friendly.

• Students jump into class discussions and activities with enthusiasm—they’re not just participating, they’re showing up with energy.

• The classroom includes everyone—teachers and students make intentional efforts to invite in quieter voices and make sure no one is left out.

• Teachers model active listening: making eye contact, staying present, and responding thoughtfully instead of multitasking mid-convo.

(Click here for a complete list of Student Relationship Look-Fors.)

Use them to reflect: Is your learning environment supportive? Are you seeing signs of emotional safety and positive relationships?

If the answer is “meh,” don’t panic—it’s just a sign to dig deeper and recommit to the relational side of your teaching practice.

→ Insights from "Glows and Grows" can also support your ongoing student‑relationship reflections and check‑ins.

3. Use the 2x10 Action Plan for Hard-to-Reach Students

Every teacher has “that student”—the one who seems determined to stay disengaged or push every button you’ve got. Enter the 2x10 Action Plan.

Here’s the deal:

• Spend 2 minutes a day for 10 consecutive days having a casual, non-academic chat with that student.

• Keep it low-stakes. Ask about their favorite YouTuber, compliment their sneakers, share something about yourself.

• Track what changes.

This micro-investment of time pays off big. Why? Because even resistant students crave connection. When teachers consistently show up, students start to trust. And strong relationships with even one adult in school can change a student’s entire trajectory.

Final Thoughts: No Fluff, Just Connection

You don’t have to overhaul your curriculum or turn into a TikTok teacher to build positive student teacher relationships. A few intentional moves—like running a relationship-building activity, watching for connection cues, and trying the 2x10 action plan—can reshape your classroom culture in powerful ways.

Start with one. Stay consistent. And remember: strong relationships aren’t a bonus—they’re the bedrock of great teaching.

Get my Done-For-You PD: Building Student Relationships and access ready-to-use tools to support you in building positive student teacher relationships.  It’s included in this month’s subscription, along with continued access to time-saving resources each month, or you can grab it by itself from my TPE store.