Coaching Resistant Teachers: 4 Ways to Build Trust and Momentum (Without the Power Struggle)

Every school has that teacher — the one who’s been around since dial-up internet, can quote the district’s last ten initiatives, and has perfected the art of the strategic eye roll.  You walk into their room to offer feedback, and the vibe says it all: “Here we go again.”

Most veteran teachers have weathered countless changes, leadership shifts, and “new” strategies that felt like old ideas with new buzzwords — so of course they’re… resistant.

But resistance isn’t defiance, and resistant teachers aren’t impossible to coach — they’re just tired of being misunderstood.

When we start looking at resistance as data — and know how to read it — it tells us exactly where and how to start coaching.

So, instead of a power struggle, let’s focus on what actually works.

Here are 4 powerful ways to build trust, momentum, and real growth when coaching resistant teachers.

1. Lead with Trust, Not Tasks

Here’s the thing about veteran teachers — they’ve seen it all.

The pendulum swings, the new acronyms, the “this time it’s different” PD slides. They’ve done this dance before, and they’re waiting to see if you’ll actually listen before asking them to change.

That’s why trust is your first job.  Coaching doesn’t start with data or feedback; it starts with connection.

Ask about what’s working before you mention what’s not. Invite their story — “What’s gone well with this new curriculum so far?” or “Where have you seen students really engage?” You’re not just making small talk. You’re gathering context and signaling respect for their experience.

Because here’s the truth: when teachers feel seen, they stop guarding. And when they stop guarding, they start listening.

Coaching veteran teachers isn’t about proving you know something they don’t. It’s about showing that you get what they’ve been through — and that you’re here to collaborate, not correct. Once that foundation is there, everything else becomes possible.

→ For a deeper look at how trust and autonomy build buy-in, check out Building Capacity through Teacher-Led Professional Development: A Protocol — it’s a powerful example of what happens when leaders give teachers ownership of their own growth.

2. Coach Through Questions

If your feedback conversations feel like you’re talking at someone instead of with them, it’s time to swap advice for inquiry.

Questions are your best coaching tool — especially when resistance is high. They shift the tone from evaluation to collaboration and invite ownership instead of compliance.

Instead of leading with “Here’s what I noticed,” try:

• “What outcome were you hoping for in that moment?”

• “How did students respond?”

• “What might you try differently next time?”

These aren’t gotcha questions — they’re reflection triggers. When teachers hear their own thinking out loud, defensiveness melts. The best insights are the ones they arrive at themselves.

You can also pair this approach with brief, targeted classroom visits that focus on one small look-for.

→ If you’re wondering how to use classroom observations to gather that kind of insight, check out Classroom Walkthroughs: Turn Quick Visits into Real-Time Coaching.

3. Small Wins Create Big Buy-In

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make with resistant teachers is trying to overhaul everything at once. It’s too much, too fast, and it only reinforces the belief that “no one understands what we’re up against.”

Instead, think micro.  Find one specific behavior, one visible change, one short timeline — and make that the focus.

Maybe it’s increasing student talk time by two minutes, trying a new exit ticket strategy, or changing how directions are delivered. The point isn’t the size of the win. It’s the momentum it creates.

When teachers see something work — especially something they doubted — belief starts to shift and that's the real game-changer.

Celebrate the progress publicly (“Here’s something that worked in Ms. Lopez’s class this week…”) and privately (“I saw how your new routine got every student engaged in under three minutes — that’s a win.”).

→ Want a simple way to track and celebrate those small wins?  Glows and Grows: The End-of-Year Reflection Every Educator Needs shares a structure you can adapt for ongoing coaching conversations — not just end-of-year reflections.

4. Reignite Their “Why”

Veteran teachers often resist because they feel unseen or undervalued, but also because they’re burnt out.

After years of shifting mandates and ever-growing demands, even the best teachers can lose sight of the parts of the job that used to light them up. That spark is still there — it’s just buried under burnout.

Your role as a coach is to help them find it again.

Ask:

• “What used to make this work feel meaningful for you?”

• “When did you last leave school feeling proud of something that happened in your classroom?”

Those questions do more than break the ice — they invite reflection on purpose. Once you help teachers reconnect to why they started teaching in the first place, you can start connecting new practices to that same sense of impact.

For example:

“Your strength has always been drawing quiet students into discussions — this strategy is just another way to do that.”

→ If burnout is part of what’s dimming that spark, you might also like Teacher Burnout in Special Education: Why It’s Worse—and How We Can Help. It offers practical ways to rebuild energy and empathy—without adding more to anyone’s plate.

Final Thoughts on Coaching Resistant Teachers

Coaching resistant teachers isn’t about winning a power struggle — it’s about understanding what’s underneath the resistance and responding with strategy, empathy, and consistency.

When you lead with trust, ask questions that spark reflection, anchor growth in small wins, and help teachers reconnect with their “why,” resistance starts to loosen its grip. Those moments of connection — even small ones — remind teachers that their work still matters and that someone genuinely sees them.

That said, some teachers simply won’t be open to coaching — and that’s okay. Not everyone is ready or willing to be coached. For some, feedback feels like a demand for change, and that alone can trigger defensiveness.

But the truth is, coaching doesn’t always have to be focused on change. Sometimes it’s simply about offering perspective, a new way of seeing the work, or just planting a seed. Still, leadership time and energy are valuable. If a teacher’s practice truly needs growth and they refuse to engage, accountability must follow.

The key is knowing when to keep coaching — and when to document. That balance is where effective leadership lives.

👉 Want Ready-to-Use Tools to Support Your Coaching Conversations?

Explore this month’s Behind the Desk PD Package: Coaching the “Uncoachable”.  It includes a done-for-you slide deck, Coaching Conversation Planner Template, Action Planning Template, and a 10-Minute “Reframing Resistance” Activity you can use in your next PD.  

Get it through our Behind the Desk subscription, along with continued access to time-saving resources each month, or you can grab it by itself from my TPE store.